i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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