he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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