Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Can I color on your dick again?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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