My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
