Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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