OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
