I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
