whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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