i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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