And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
