My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
