I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
