you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
