come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
