I accidentally burped into my bong.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
