Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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