clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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