I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
