I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
When are your genitals available?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
