woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
