You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
