I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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