Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
