He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Houston, we have a blender
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Randomize
