easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
