Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
this hospital has no fireball
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
