Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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