She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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