We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
