well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
