I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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