We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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