Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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