I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize