Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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