He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
