god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
