Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
