He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
