We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize