i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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