I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
