My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
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Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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