another moral hangover. fuck.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
