i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
