...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
