so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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