oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
