I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
