Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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