Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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