you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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