the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
