She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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