So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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