i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
