at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
