where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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