blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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