PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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