I'm sorry my penis didn't work
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
