He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
