Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize