what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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