it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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