You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
