Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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