Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Drunk is not a location!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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