you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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